Mama Goes on Vacation
I think "vacation" is a strong word when you are a mama of littles - it was a trip. We returned yesterday afternoon, and although we feel like we survived the battle, for the first time in a long time, we are returning from our "trip" and do not feel like we just lost a war — progress, not perfection.
I am not going to pretend like we killed it, but these three heathens did not kill us on this trip, and I am going to sleep tonight with the win. Could we attribute this small triumph to the fact that the kids are getting older? Sure, of course. But I won't. Instead, I am going to pat myself on the back and say that this is purely due to Mama's ingenuity.
So, what genius mom hacks did we employ?
Hope & Nope Lists: The night before our trip, we sat down for a family meeting to share our hopes and nopes. What do you hope happens on our vacation? What would you love to do? And what would really bum you out? What are you hoping we skip?
Me Time & We Time: Family trips are challenging for me. I get overstimulated quickly and melt into a version of myself that is not fun for anyone. It did not work out perfectly, and some days it did not happen at all, but planning with my husband so that I could have some time for myself and some time for us together made a world of difference.
Family Rules: During our family meeting, we set a few house rules so that our kiddos knew beforehand what was expected and what to expect.
Return Home Mindset: This is my favorite. Coming home from "vacation" is garbage. The kids are a mess, the house is a mess, and laundry explodes everywhere. This was our reality until recently, when I started planning our return before we even left. We ask the fantastic women who clean our house to come while we are away. We schedule a grocery delivery for our return. Our meal plan is set and on the fridge. We bring three different colored grocery bags to sort clothes and simplify laundry. This year, the house and our lives were reset in about 2 hours, which was truly amazing.
But if I could boil all of this brilliance down, it would come down to this, mamas: trips with small people are hard. They will always be hard, and no amount of planning or hacking will fix that—except for hired help. Hired help would be great, but unfortunately, that is not the life we live.
So, in lieu of hired help, the key to not losing your shit on your "vacation" boils down to these three things. You need to make your vacation planning:
Intentional: Before you go on a trip, spend some time looking in and looking around. Where am I right now? Emotionally, mentally, physically? Where are my people? Partner and kids?
Collaborative: Call a family meeting. Ensure you and your partner are on the same page, and then talk through the trip with the kiddos.
Reasonable: If your kiddos do not do the dishes at home, this is not the time they are going to start. Be reasonable. Recognize that the kids are out of routine and their space. Lower your expectations just a bit. (I wrote this sentence primarily for me.)
So, mamas, take the trip and call it a vacation. It will be exhausting, but it will be worth it.
You got this shit.
Love,
Alex